We are all valuable in our own way and we are all worthy of good things and love. Maybe it’s the time of year but I feel like this is something many of the people I care about need to hear. I struggle to remember that I am worthy of the love my husband shows me. Even my kids seem to be harder on themselves right now than they should be. I hear them call themselves stupid and dumb and it hurts my heart.
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine not long enough and they said something to the effect of “finding a new job was easy for you, you have all these skills that I don’t have.” First, finding a new job after being fired wasn’t “easy”, it was terrifying. But not the point. Sure I have that set of skills but I can’t do her job and will freely admit that. She’s not dumb she’s amazing and smart and thinks about things in a completely different way than I do. I feel like she has more patience than I do and as a result often gets to the root of issues where I want to just solve the problem and move on. So my response to her was “Stop, why do you do that, why do you act like you bring nothing to the table.”
We had a conversation with my kids this week about their behavior. ”Why did you act like that? It was pretty mean?” ”I’m so stupid. I don’t want to be a jerk.” Well I’m glad they don’t want to be jerks but why are they calling themselves stupid. They are far from stupid. The things they know at 11 astounds me. Additionally I hate the word stupid. We aren’t supposed to use it in our house and certainly never when referring to a person.
Why are we so mean to ourselves? The world is mean enough all on it’s own we don’t need to add to that meanness. Be kind to yourself. Take a minute to think about the things you love about yourself. Think about the things that you are good at. Find the value you bring to the table simply by being you.
It’s funny how life works out sometimes. In September I lost my job which you would have thought would have devastated me but honestly I feel like it gave me my life back.
Please don’t read that as I didn’t value my job because I certainly did. I loved most of the people I worked with. I found the job mentally challenging and I like a good challenge. It keeps me engaged. It gave me valuable experience that I will take with me wherever I go. But if I’m really being honest I had let the job consume too much of me.
I constantly struggle with finding work life balance. So while losing your job is never a good thing in this case it did force me to choose a new path.
I soon found a fantastic new job that I genuinely love. What’s more, it promotes and encourages a healthier work-life balance, which I’ve come to value immensely.
Additionally, I had the unique opportunity to have a month off between jobs. I have never since the age of 16 been off of work for that long. At first I thought the break would drive me totally crazy but I decided to make the best of it. I put in the effort at home, tackling projects that had long been on the back burner. I spent valuable time with my dad, building a new tree stand for myself and the kids to hunt from. I also had the pleasure of assisting my mom with her laser machine without the constraints of trying to fit it into 15-minute increments.
I have been fighting to get my weight down for months without any success to lose weight and hadn’t had any success. But to my surprise within the month that I was off I lost 10 pounds. At this point I’m down almost 20 lbs. I attribute this at this point primarily to the fact that my stress levels are down. I’m walking more and we are cooking most meals at home. I had forgotten how much I love to cook! And how much better I feel when I’m eating those healthier home cooked meals than the quick boxed meal or eating out constantly.
All this has reminded me that change even when unexpected can be a great chance to grow and transform. It has given me the opportunity to look at things with a new perspective on work, life and reinforced the importance of maintaining a healthy work life balance. Change isn’t always the worst thing in the world; sometimes it even opens doors to much better opportunities that allow you to live the life you dream of!
It’s funny how life works out sometimes. In September I lost my job which you would have thought would have devastated me but honestly I feel like it gave me my life back.
Please don’t read that as I didn’t value my job because I certainly did. I loved most of the people I worked with. I found the job mentally challenging and I like a good challenge it keeps me engaged. It gave me valuable experience that I will take with me where ever I go. But if I’m really being honest I had let the job consume too much of me.
I constantly struggle with finding the work life balance. So while losing your job is never a good thing in this case it did force me to choose a new path.
I soon found a fantastic new job that I genuinely love. What’s more, it promotes and encourages a healthier work-life balance, which I’ve come to value immensely.
Additionally, I had the unique opportunity to have a month off between jobs. I have never since the age of 16 been off of work for that long. At first I thought the break would drive me totally crazy but I decided to make the best of it. I put in the effort at home, tackling projects that had long been on the back burner. I spent valuable time with my dad, building a new tree stand for myself and the kids to hunt from. I also had the pleasure of assisting my mom with her laser machine without the constraints of trying to fit it into 15-minute increments.
I have been fighting to get my weight down for months without any success to lose weight and hadn’t had any success. But to my surprise within the month that I was off I lost 10 pounds. At this point I’m down almost 20 lbs. I attribute this at this point primarily to the fact that my stress levels are down. I’m walking more and we are cooking most meals at home. I had forgotten how much I love to cook! And how much better I feel when I’m eating those healthier home cooked meals than the quick boxed meal or eating out constantly.
All this has reminded me that while change even when unexpected can be a great chance to grow and transform. It has given me the opportunity to look at things with a new perspective on work, life and reinforced the importance of maintaining a healthy work life balance. Change isn’t always the worst thing in the world; sometimes it even opens doors to much better opportunities that allow you to live the life you dream of!
I have a major issue with what society is teaching our children. I’m all for teaching our kids to be kind to others. That being said, teaching our kids that they have to be friends with everyone is unrealistic.
My son is being bullied at school and a kid won’t keep his hands off him. My son has asked said kid to keep his hands to himself repeatedly. He’s mentioned to friends and adults that the kid won’t keep his hands off him and that he doesn’t like being touched by this person. Instead of doing something about the kid who’s touching my son, my son was made to apologize to this kid for speaking up about the fact that doesn’t want to be touched by him.
We shouldn’t have to be friends with everyone, you don’t have to get along with everyone. We should most certainly still be kind when dealing with people but we most certainly shouldn’t have to be friends with our bullies! And last time I checked if I don’t want someone touching me as an adult and they don’t listen. I have every right to make them stop. Why shouldn’t kids have the same right?
I read an article online over the weekend where a little boy made a poster and asked a little girl in front of the whole cafeteria to be his Valentine, the little girl said no. The mother of the little boy then took to social media to complain about how wrong it was of this little girl to say no. As a result of the mom’s post the following day the little boy was showered with attention and asked by several others to be their Valentine complete with posters stating he could do better than the original little girl.
So let me see if I have this straight. According to this mom it’s not OK for the little girl to politely say no? Are you kidding me?!? I spend a ton of time teaching my boys the right way to treat girls which also includes not embarrassing them. I specifically told one of the boys that I felt he shouldn’t ask a little girl to be his girlfriend in a very public way for exactly this reason as well as because if she said no I didn’t want him to be embarrassed either.
Saying no isn’t being mean and whoever decided that it was thinking about the message that sends. Do we really want kids to think they can’t say no. We have spent years preach that no means no when it comes to our bodies that saying no and not being listen to is rape when it comes to sex. If we teach kids that they can’t say no when they are asked on dates where does the line get drawn? This is sending the wrong message to kids and in my opinion will cause far more damage down the road!
I’m always trying to find ways to keep the boys off their electronics and engaged. While we were on vacation last year Mr B sent me a book too check out named Outdoor Kids in an Inside World by Steven Rinella. I ended up ordering the book and we read most of it as a family. In doing so we absolutely fell in love with what Steven had to say about our relationships with the outdoors as a family. We have been slowly trying to incorporate more of his ideas into our day to day.
For those of you that have never heard of Steven Rinella, he’s the founder of MeatEater. Now mind you I had vaguely heard of the TV show from my brother and nephews but since the videos weren’t available on any of the TV options we have hadn’t checked them out yet. Mr B on the other had watched the show and followed MeatEater on social media and asked for his cookbooks for Christmas a couple years ago. I remember thumbing thru the cookbooks and picking out some recipes to try but not really paying a ton of attention to them otherwise.
After reading Outdoor Kids in an Inside World though I decided to listen to one of the podcasts just to see if Steven really talks the way he writes which I find very entertaining. I was totally hooked after that. I follow several of their podcasts. As a matter of fact they are the most frequently listened to on our road trips. Yes I let my kids listen to them. Yes they swear in the the podcasts but they are honest and educational and are opening my kids minds to new thought processes. They are getting my kids interested in doing more outside. They challenge us all to learn.
One of their weekly podcasts is the MeatEater Trivia. We save up these episodes for long trips because they are the most entertaining for boys. We play along in the car and do our best to try to out score each other. I’ve also over heard the boys talk to their grandparents and other people about things they have learned from these trivia games.
If you and you family are at all into hunting, fishing and the great outdoors I highly recommend you check out some of their stuff whether it’s reading, tv, or podcasts they have plenty of options and they might just inspire you and your family like they have inspired us.
As I sit and look back on 2022 I see so many steps forward.
Mr. R finished school and started a new career which he enjoys and is good for him although I have to admit I miss having him home with me on Fridays.
The kids continue to grow and do well in school and sports. J is doing great in hockey and is flourishing under a new coaching staff. R moved from rec soccer to a travel soccer team where he showed so much growth from spring to the fall season.
We finished my office and I moved into it in November. Moving my office out of our dining room and into a designated space has allowed to me to once again separate work and home. I had forgotten what that was like and how valuable that separation really is. At the end of the day I can now shut down and close the door allowing me to walk away and focus on my family.
However I also had steps backwards. I gained back weight that I really need to keep off. Worse yet this means that my blood work also showed that my number are high and it was once again reminded that I need to keep those numbers down or start meds.
I fell completely off the work out train months and months ago and keep seem to get back on no matter what I try. I’m just going to admit that unless someone else is depending on me to show up I am just flat out terrible at showing up for myself.
Anxiety causes everyone in this house pains regularly. All four of us struggle to keep it in check. Both kids struggle with it at school and this school year so far as been rough with the kids getting older the drama gets worse it’s not just so and so won’t pay attention in class it’s, mom the news says that there are drugs that look like candy and people are giving it to kids and it’s killing them. This type of rumors seems to really cause the boys to fear the real world. The additional anxiety they have causes me anxiety because the older they get the more I realize I can’t protect them from everything. I cannot tell you how much I hate busy stores and trying to shop as a family. I feel like I’ve run a race every time we try to go do something that requires all of us going into a store.
Looking forward to 2023 but struggling to set goals that I feel are realistic!
Life is short, you never know how long you will have with people your loved ones. This fact seems to elude so many people and I find it sad. I count myself as lucky in the fact that my family has always been fairly close but even in my close family we have people that have made choices that I don’t understand.
I have an aunt that doesn’t speak to any of us. My kids don’t remember her and we rarely talk about her so really they forget she exists. She was one of the first people to see the boys when they were born and love them. She was so excited to hear that I was having twins. To have her just disappeared from their lives and my life breaks my heart over and over again. How does one make that choice? It’s not a choice I could ever make. No hurt or anger could make me choose that my family isn’t my family.
It’s inevitable when dealing with people that feelings will get hurt from time to time. When family is involved the cuts tend to be that much deeper. There have been plenty of times where I have had to say, “Yes my feelings were hurt, yes I needed cooling off time” so I get that. However, letting it go for months or years on end is silly and childish. Once you get to a certain point fixing the issues becomes almost impossible if you wait too long to address it.
At times I feel like people just need to suck it up and tell the others involved they are sorry. Saying your sorry doesn’t make you weak, it makes you a stronger, better person. More often than not it actually is just as much a situation of, I recognize your feelings were hurt, so were mine, now what do we do to get back on track.
I hope that my kids are learning to say their sorry and mean it so that this cycle doesn’t continue. I hope that my siblings and I have learned something from our parents and that we forgive and move on more and that we are never divided because we are too stubborn to say “I’m sorry”.
While many parents become parents when their children are born, there are are also several that choose to be parents. Loving me in my 30s means loving not just me but also loving my kids and choosing them just as much as Mr. B was choosing me.
With twin boys that are into sports that means choosing weekends filled with games and weeks filled with practices. It means driving all over the state sometimes, multiple states. It means he gets to hunt and fish less than he would like and that when he does he often has a tag along. It means that Mr. B and I have to divide up tasks and work until after dark some nights in the barn, the house, my office, the wood pile to get everything done that has to be done. Some days that truly means kissing each other good morning and kissing each other at bedtime because we didn’t get to see each other all day. Our lists are long and we are behind on all of them. It means saying no to invites and having to choose what we can make work when the calendar is already full.
I’m lucky he chooses me day after day and he chooses them day after day. Some days I’m not sure how he does it given the hot mess this house is 6 days out of 7 every week. It means making tough decisions and having to say no when things just don’t fit into the schedule. It means that he chooses me and those two boys over everything else to make sure that we know that he’s all in. It means not canceling family vacations or trips or skipping practice because someone calls. It means he works 5 days a week 50+ hours and still comes home to more work and or running. The fact that he chooses me over and over isn’t the only reason I love him but it is one of the leading ones!
Thank you for all you do for me and the kids, Mr. B! We love you!
I feel like this spring has been chaotic! We finally finished up hockey with great try outs and we are excited that J made the major travel hockey team and R tried out for his first travel soccer team and made it.
We have also been busy with lots of babies this spring hatching chickens, chukars, and ducks.
And lastly we I can’t forget to mention our little surprise calf Midnight!
I’ve been silent since around Christmas time on here. Not because I have nothing to say but simply because I can’t seem to put into words everything bouncing around my brain. Christmas sucked with all but one of us getting covid causing us to spend Christmas and New Years in quarantine. And frankly 2022 has been much better.
I’m trying to see the positive and struggling with it all.
I’m grateful that the kids seem to be still doing well. They are thriving at school and in their sports. J’s hockey team won their home tournament last weekend and R made the travel soccer team he tried out for. They know that there is a lot going on and are basically rolling with the punches at this point better than any of the adults.
The world is just scary and I’m muddling thru how to navigate the scary.
I have a bracelet that I picked up a couple years ago that says “I am the storm” and it rings very true in many ways.
I’m the emotional over thinker in this family. I will always think of the worst case scenario first and will be sure that that is what the outcome will be. The words often just tumble out of me especially if I’m talking to my mom or my hubby. The hubby tells me “You are the storm and I am the calm. We balance each other.” He’s right, he lets the words spew out and patiently waits for me to be done and rational again before he will actually discuss the issue with me.
I’m fiercely protective of my family and as a result most storms start because of something to do with them. I can’t decide if it is a good thing or a bad thing that my kids both chose sports that I know little about but after coaching them it’s very hard to sit on the sidelines. I want to push them to do their best in all things and there are many car rides home from practices where we discuss what is acceptable and what isn’t acceptable behavior from them. I have equally high standards for them concerning grades.
It’s OK to be the storm as long as you don’t let the storm consume you. Everything isn’t always a disaster, the worst case scenario isn’t the only scenario.
