This is something I struggle with! I’m a people pleaser and I hate to disappoint people or hurt their feelings. As a result I often make myself miserable to make other happy and I tend to settle instead of fighting for what I really want. It has hurt my in my career and my personal life more than I care to admit.

I have had several people that I work with tell me, I don’t know my own worth. We do self reviews at work and all of them ask the question, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” I hate that question because I don’t know how to answer it. In my 13 years at my company, I have literally just done whatever needed done and learned what needed to be learned along the way. It has served me well. I love my company and what we do and I am good at what I do. I however will admit that over the last few years I have stressed and struggled until I was willing to admit what I wanted and how I wanted to move forward in my career. I’m thankful to my bosses who saw my potential even when I doubted myself.

In my personal life I have burned bridges that I never should have and fought for relationships that weren’t worth it. The truth is if you don’t like me as I am raw and emotional and I can’t trust you enough to be that real with you….chances are I shouldn’t be worried about what you think anyway.

I’ve learned a lot in the last year….

While I love developing software and having my hands in code at this point in my career I benefit everyone more as a Product Owner and I’m good at it. I love the controlled chaos that comes with coordinating all the different things my team is doing.

I need to be more honest with myself about what I want out of my personal relationships. And in being honest with myself I need to be honest with the people involved. It’s not the end of the world to cut ties with crappy friends. And if I tell someone how I’m really feeling and they tear me down that’s on them not on me.