I have had anxiety issues for the last several years. I started having anxiety attacks in college. At the time I remember thinking, “This will pass. It’s just midterms or finals. Nothing a bowl full of ice cream or a bag of candy wouldn’t cure.”

Then came kids. I went a long time managing my anxiety without any help from medications. But let me tell you, raising two kids who are active social butterflies, while working a full time job, and running a farm/home is just, mentally exhausting! By the time the kids started school, I was finally ready to at least attempt meds to see if the anxiety could be better managed.

The meds worked for the most part, and life was good. Things didn’t slow down any at work or at home, but it was manageable. Yes, I still had bad days and situations that made me totally uncomfortable, but the reality is that the anxiety never totally goes away.

Then the pandemic hit and it’s a whole new level of hell. Wearing a mask is extremely difficult for me and it often induces panic attacks. I’ve had to walk out of more than one store and wait outside for my family. I have also just plain had to go home and either order online or try again another day.

Everyone is so busy judging everyone else these days, and debating the whole ‘masks vs no masks’ thing. Why can’t people just stop judging and go about their day? It doesn’t bother me one way or the other if someone else is wearing a mask and I’m not. Do I wear them when required? Yes, for as long as I can. Am I less likely to go somewhere that requires them? Most certainly because I don’t want to have to tell my kids we have to leave because Mommy is having a panic attack. The truth is, they can’t give me anything for the panic attacks because all the options will make me tired which is also a safety concern when I’m alone with the kids. If you see me out somewhere and I am unusually short with you, I apologize in advance, but the truth is I would rather not have a complete meltdown in public.